My Blog Has Moved

You can now find my writing here: coleryanblog.com. Thank you for following me for these past few years. 

There are lots of new things on my new blog.. including; Interviews, Giveaways, Book Reviews, Guest Posts, etc. 

Unity

“And a response to our God being a father is, inevitably, unity. We do not have varying fathers – we have one father, we share a father. That would make us siblings – brothers, sisters. That would put us on the same team. That would unify us.

That would make us connected.

Back to tragedies.

Do you remember turning on the TV, or checking your phone, and finding out about ’18 dead, 6 in critical condition.’

Or ‘shooter in elementary school.’

Though you were not there, and you were not involved, and no one you knew was affected – it seemed to matter to you, as if you were somehow involved, or you did know someone who was affected. It’s because we are all connected. We are all brothers and sisters.

It’s because we all share a father,

it’s because we are all family.

Sometimes it just takes a tragedy to point that out to us.

I don’t know why bad things happen, but I do know that bad things unify us, and that is not a bad thing.”

(Excerpt from my upcoming book – summer 2014)

Receive

“I’ve noticed that we love to give. Giving is fun. You know that feeling you get when you give someone a gift? Just waiting to see their reaction. Or when you give someone a compliment? Just waiting to see their smile.

We love to give.

We love to make people happy.

And the ultimate thing someone can do when we give them something is to simply enjoy it.

If they say “no, thank you” or act as if they’re not worthy of it, that destroys us. If they’re too prideful or too independent to receive it, that ruins it for us. We just want them to enjoy it. We don’t want them to try to repay us. We just want them to enjoy it. We just want to make them happy.

I think God is the same way.

I think God created all of this to share it with us, to give it to us.

And I think God just wants us to enjoy it.

He doesn’t want us to act as if we’re not worthy of it.

He doesn’t want us to try to repay Him.

He just wants us to enjoy it.

He just wants to makes us happy.

He just wants to share His joy with us.

Is that Christianity?

Enjoying God’s gift?

Because we all receive the gift, but do we all enjoy it?”

(Excerpt from my upcoming book – summer 2014)

Christians & Dating

Christians aren’t very good at dating. There have been plenty of Christian dating books and articles, and all of them have addressed the fact that there is a problem with the way we view dating, but none of them have really gotten to the root of the problem.

Ultimately, I think there are two reasons why the way we date doesn’t really work too well.

1. We either take dating too lightly, by simply dating someone to have fun or to fit in: in doing this we don’t even treat dating as a gateway to marriage – we hardly ever even consider marriage as an option.

2. Or we over-spiritualize and/or over-romanticize dating: in doing this we think that somehow “the one” is out there waiting for us – as if God designed a soul mate specifically for us.

Both of which are destructive.

I don’t think that the answer to either of these problems are as black and white as we like to think they are, or that they can be fixed as easily as we think they can be. These problems can’t be fixed with strategies and formulas, that is what makes them tough.

I do think that if we get to the root of these problems that they will be much easier to fix. Most dating books and articles talk about the actions that take place within dating, they talk about how to date. I don’t think the answers we’re looking for will be found in behavior modification – we have to dig deeper than that. We have to find our motive and intention behind wanting to date someone, we have to find the reason for which we date someone.

I think focusing on the root of the problem rather than the surface of the problem is universally effective, yet we don’t apply this logic to dating.

This is why I wrote Dear Guys: A New Way To Date. It’s not your typical Christian dating book. It’s not a book telling you when to date, or how to date, it’s all about why we date – because when we figure out the why, it will change the when and the how.

To Write Is To Be Vulnerable

I recently tweeted..

“Being a writer is vulnerable. While our opinions, views, thoughts, and positions change – our published work does not and can not.”

It’s true. There are certain things I’ve written that I wish I could take back. There are certain things I’ve written that are painful for even me to read.

We’re constantly changing. What we write, however, isn’t. It’s permanent. That shouldn’t stop us from writing, though.

Almost everything worth doing in this life will cause us to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a good thing – we’re vulnerable when we create something, when we get out of our comfort zone, when we take a risk.